Confidence isn't fixed - reflection exercises to build your confidence

Confidence isn't fixed.

Recently, I was excited to work with students at University of Cambridge (Emmanuel College) to host a confidence-building workshop.

One student shared an honest reflection that while they feel confident in their current environment - having strong relationships, understanding expectations, familiar surroundings - they feel less sure about the next step and navigating the 'real world.'

This reminded me that confidence isn’t fixed. It is a moving feast; something that evolves as we move through different life stages and challenges. When we’re surrounded by familiar faces and a sense of routine, confidence can feel natural. But when we step into new environments, new situations and start new things, self doubt can sneak in. And that’s okay.

It can feel uncomfortable, but that stretch into new things (and getting outside of our comfort zone) is where growth happens and confidence grows.

Here’s where reflection becomes essential. Looking back on where you started, you can see how far you've come, how you have adapted, and where you have become more confident. Reflecting on these changes gives you a powerful reminder that you're more confident than you think, and that you have grown in confidence before and will again, even in places that currently feel unknown.

Confidence will come - again and again - with each small step outside your comfort zone.

Reflection exercises to build your confidence:

1. Journaling prompts:

What was one situation where you felt confident this week? What enabled you to feel confident in that moment? What tools could be useful to repeat for future situations where you want to build confidence?

What challenge have you faced this month that you initially doubted yourself in, but ultimately managed? What can you learn from this situation for future situations? What advice would you give yourself now if in that same situation again?

Looking back over the last 6 months, how has your confidence changed in specific areas of your life or work?

2. Confidence timeline activity

Mapping a timeline can give you visual clarity on your journey with confidence. On a blank sheet, draw a line and mark significant moments that boosted your confidence (like a successful project, a new role, a social situation where you felt comfortable).

Look back over your timeline for recurring themes to identify what enabled you to feel confident. It could be the people who encouraged you, the environment, the preparation, your outfit, or skills you mastered. These can reveal what supports your growth for future situations.

3. Collating feedback (a smile file)

Building confidence isn’t just an internal journey; it can grow from external feedback too. Feedback is helpful in highlighting our blind spots (as discussed in Joharis Window model).

I encourage you to keep a log of your positive feedback - in an email, chat or in person (some clients call this a smile file - every time they look back into the file, it makes the smile). Over time this becomes a powerful reminder of the strengths others see in you. It also is helpful to reflect on when you need a confidence boost.

If you've tried one of these exercises, what did you notice? I'd love to hear what you have found most useful. And if you are aiming to build your confidence, do get in touch to discuss my confidence coaching 1-2-1 and group coaching services.